Balloon Tree

These pictures are from sometime in early February, taken on a day when Caleb was home from school with a fever and sore throat. We still had a bunch of red balloons floating around the house that were left over from his birthday party. After a long nap, he woke up hungry for lunch so I made him a small sandwich and a cup of soup. When he finished eating, he took me by the hand and led me upstairs, telling me (in very polite, broken English) not to come downstairs until he was ready. "Please, no come, me say you come, no come, please no come." (He was holding both hands up in the air, signalling me to STAY PUT.) I could hear him scurrying around the dining room, busily working at something... When he returned about 10 minutes later, he was super excited to show me this:




I was so impressed by his ingenuity, the way he used the plant's structure and friction to hold the balloon knots. The simplicity was beautiful and the balloons were very nicely arranged…not to mention, what could be better than a little tree FULL of red balloons?! Sweet, sweet boy.

Dental Woes

There was a good reason why I didn’t manage to write a post for six weeks in between the kids’ birthdays: Oral surgery times two. Yeabsira’s was most urgent because one of her molars was crumbling apart in her mouth and every once in a while, she would spit another chunk of it into the sink (and because that one came out in the sink, it didn't make the photoshoot.) Fortunately, all of hers were baby teeth, so a new set will come in, but the dentist has explained that her abcesses (infections) were deep and the permanent teeth below the surface have been forming in a “sea of puss.” We can only hope they have managed to form well, in spite of the harsh conditions… Yahbi woke from the anesthesia terrified and disoriented. Our house looked like a crime scene the first night after she played with her sutures and broke them open with her tongue, but we all got through it and within a few weeks, she became a much happier and more energetic girl.

Etsegenet was next and her surgery was far more extensive: Five teeth extracted; four of them her permanent six-year molars. (The fifth was an over-retained baby premolar that was never nudged out because she is congenitally missing her permanent lower premolars and will likely need implants to fill in those spaces.) With the miracles of modern orthodontia, Etsegenet’s 12-year molars will slowly be moved forward to take the place of the missing 6-years and her wisdom teeth (she has all four) will function as her 12-year molars. She will need at least one lower jaw surgery, perhaps two (the thought of this is almost too much for me to bear, so it’s hard for me to imagine her experience.) Why is all of this necessary? Well, at this point, her lower jaw is so small and her overbite/misalignment so major, that only one tooth on either side touches one above it. She is only able to effectively chew mushy stuff, even with the painfully rotten teeth removed. Fortunately, this process will happen in many steps over many years and the first jaw surgery will not happen for another year or two. Etsegenet is very self-conscious about her teeth and so wants them to be healthy and beautiful. She is always commenting on other people’s “many, many beautiful teeth” and even during our first week together in Ethiopia, she pointed out the teenage son of another adoptive family who had braces. It was one of the first things she asked me in English: “Mom, can I have?” I asked her if she wanted braces...she got teary and said, “yes, Mom, yes. Thank you, thank you.” So, we’re committed. Etsegenet had a tough time with the oral surgery (mainly with the recovery & the altering effects of the much-needed pain medication) but now she’s on the mend and loves that eating doesn't hurt…and when she opens her mouth, there’s not a black tooth in sight.

After the oral surgeries, we started in on the rest of the cavities. So far, Yeabsira has had four additional fillings, with one more to go, and a crown on one of her remaining baby molars. Etsegenet will get two more fillings and sealant on two smaller spots of decay, which we have appointments for in April (one for each side.) Caleb skated through the dental experience easily—only two small fillings and a spot of decay that is already sealed. With little dental excitement of his own, he managed to create some at school the other day by accidentally knocking out his two front teeth (some strange series of playful events at story time in which he threw his head forward & into the back of his own hand.) Only one of the teeth actually came out, but the other was so loose and painful, he asked me to pull it out that afternoon when he finished his snack. Those teeth would have fallen out in a couple of months anyway, so it’s all fine and Caleb is proud of his new look. Sascha and I had a moment of heartbreak over the loss of his “little-boy smile,” but we’re grateful we had the chance to enjoy it for a short time… One of the strange poignancies of older-child adoption is, as you begin to fall in love with your kids, you recognize the many early-life “events” you didn’t experience with them. I do love knowing, though, that most of the biggies were shared with their birth parents, which is far more important for them than what I did or didn’t get to see. Our children are kind-hearted and beautiful because of the parents they lost, and because of the many fabulous care-givers who nurtured them in Ethiopia—something Sascha and I appreciate beyond measure... (Ahh, if only they'd been able to go to a dentist...)

Yahbi is 6!

Well, I guess it’s fitting that after a very long lag, this post follows the one from Caleb’s birthday. We celebrated Yeabsira’s big day last weekend. She wanted everything to be EXACTLY the same as Caleb’s, only green. Same people, same cupcake spread (but chocolate mint instead of red velvet), same balloon arrangement...you name it, it was the same. Life, for her, is about equality, and she walks with an inner “fairness micrometer” at all times. (No matter that she is half the age/size of her sister, she simply must have the same amount of oats in her bowl! This concerns us a little bit, but we’re treading lightly.) We did add a few things, though: Favorite-colored fingernails and fart whistles.

Yahbi only asked for one present: Green sunglasses, which weren’t so easy to find, but the spring season brought new inventory to our local toy store in the nick-of-time. A few weeks ago, we had brunch with some friends in Seattle and Yahbi had a terrific time playing Mommy to some baby dolls—dressing & undressing them, diapering them and swaddling them in blankets. So, the other birthday present was a baby doll that she has named Erin Leah. (Erin, I think, after a wonderful volunteer teacher who cared for her at the orphanage in Ethiopia, and Leah after Princess Leah—we’re working our way through the Star Wars Episodes, with some careful skipping of the scary parts. Yeabsira loves Yoda too, because he's Yoda, but also because he's green.)

Melkam Lidet, Caleb!

This post is long overdue. I really don’t know where the days go anymore—I seem to blink and a whole week passes me by…life is so very FULL. (By the way, I’m having technical difficulties with blogger & can’t get my photo captions to go where they’re supposed to because the pictures are showing up as text (on my end) instead of images as I post them… So, you’ll have to read the captions first, then look at the photos below.)

Dreams do come true.

Wednesday, January 27th was Caleb’s 7th Birthday. (Do notice the change in the spelling of his name—he discovered that same week that people actually understand how to pronounce his name if it’s spelled C-A-L-E-B!) We had a fun little party the Sunday before with my sister’s family and the Carlsons. Unfortunately, I let my own excitement get the best of me and in my selfish desire to surprise him with an awesome cupcake spread and room-full-of-friends, I scared him half to death and he transformed before our eyes into a shy, mute boy. (How could I be so insensitive?) Oh well, chalk it up to my green, green state of motherhood. It only lasted a few minutes—He warmed up to the cupcake with seven rainbow-colored candles ablaze and the fun & celebration won out.

All week long, Caleb hinted about wanting a clock for his bedside table. We found one that folds up and looks just like a mobile phone & were pretty sure he'd go bananas over it...

Caleb and his cousin, Ryan Raney, had a good time with those party gizmos that uncurl when you blow!

One of the day's brightest highlights was seeing how all of the kids have warmed up to each other. Bonds are forming. I'm not sure if they think much of it intellectually, but their hearts seem to know.

Family Portrait

Happy

A couple of days ago, I was in the bathroom with Yeabsira (she likes to have me in there with her, even though she doesn't really need any help.) Usually we just talk about whatever's going on in the moment, with a lot of silly gesturing because the language barrier is ever-present. She teaches me things like how to ask "are you gassy?" in Amharic! It was just after dinner and Sascha was in the kitchen with Etsegenet and Kaleab. We could hear them all laughing and we had been giggling about something too, though I no longer remember what. She looked up at me and said, "Mommy, you, me, hee-hee-hee." Then she pointed toward the kitchen and added, "Daddy, Etsegenet, Kaleab, hee-hee-hee." After that, she paused for a moment, smiling her huge, beautiful, gushing smile and in a gentle voice, she said, "Happy."

We are having some challenges, but there is a lot of joy in this house too. I honestly didn't expect to feel simple, easy joy for a long time. I just expected the change to be so hard, and certain parts of it are super hard, but these are magnificent kids and they are incredibly easy to love.

Saturday Outing

The morning after our first REALLY good night's sleep

We went on a fun family outing last Saturday to the History Museum in Tacoma. There is a new exhibit of model trains of various sizes and the kids had a good laugh with the dress up clothes. Sascha & I enjoyed our first full weekend in a long time that didn't involve any home renovations, yet we still ended up with sore backs... Kaleab and Yeabsira were too short to see almost every display, so they spent a lot of time on our shoulders. (Ugh!)

True Pioneers

All Aboard?!

Home At Last

So much has happened since my last post… I tried several times to write while in Ethiopia, but the internet connection was extremely slow and I wasn’t even able to open the blog fully to access my account, so posting wasn’t an option. Here’s a recap: As planned, we travelled to Addis Ababa in mid-December, met our kids for the first time on Friday, Dec. 18th, completed our Immigration preparations at the U.S. Embassy on Tuesday, Dec. 22nd, and returned home with them on Christmas Day.

The day we met our children was very different from what we expected—Sascha and I thought the kids might be distant at first, that we’d all feel awkward, that it would be strained. Much to our surprise, they nearly knocked us both down with hugs and kisses, and “Thank You, Thank You…” First we cried, then we played and laughed and quickly became comfortable with one another. Each day we spent more time together until Embassy Day, when we began living together as a family at our guesthouse.

Sascha and I with Etsegenet ("Et-SAH-ganette")

Kaleab ("Caleb")

Yeabsira ("Yahbi")

On our trip, we made new friends—amazing families who have adopted children that our kids love like family; friends we will hold dear for the rest of our lives. We are so grateful that all of our kids will have each other for support as they make their way through life.

Ready to go! (Leaving the CHSFS guesthouse in Addis)

Our flight home was LONG. We flew from Addis to Rome to D.C. to Seattle. The kids slept during most of the first and last flights, but played and played during the long one in between (there were nine adopted kids on the plane, along with their new Moms & Dads.) We send our apologies to the flight crew, who put up with many armrest call-button false-alarms and lengthy stays in the bathrooms. We all did our best under the circumstances, but it was not easy! It was VERY helpful to make that trip with the other families—there were about twenty of us in total. One of our funniest moments involved running through the airport terminal in D.C., and coming upon our first escalator. Our kids froze and then giggled wildly! We had no time to spare (or so we thought) so we quickly ushered them on, and they went for it, laughed the entire time, and leapt off the other end intact…

Washington D.C. (heading for Immigrations processing)

What a journey—it was both exhilarating and exhausting, but we made it home safe & sound! Our children were amazing troopers, brave and willing to take every necessary step. Sascha and I are learning so much from them, especially from their incredible positive attitudes. Just look at their shining faces our first morning home:

For our first Sunday Breakfast, we enjoyed (Thanks to Deb Llewellyn) hard boiled eggs with "Berberaise" (mayo with loads of Ethiopian berbere spice mixed in) toast and bananas in OJ. It was a hit!

We've heard many horror stories about internationally adopted kids' struggles to adapt to American food, so we were prepared for some hard times at the table, but our kids are adventurous eaters. So far, we haven't had any challenges at all...except for Kaleab's resistance to lentil soup. He had a minor meltdown and missed most of lunch one day, but ate a full dinner that night (WITH lentils!) Etsegenet is a wonderful helper in the kitchen and all three seem to enjoy our mealtimes together just as much as we do.

We send a special Thank You this week to Chantal Hulet for bringing our car up to meet us at the airport on Christmas Day, Amanda Carlson for preparing an Ethiopian Christmas feast (which we all loved and scarfed down upon arrival) my sister, Kyna Raney, for waking up at 4am to drive us to the airport on our way to Ethiopia, for the much needed grocery staples after we returned home and for helping us out with clothes that actually fit, Pat Lynch for loving and feeding our cat (Melvin) while we were away and for the very special treats she wrapped festively and left in our fridge, Zebib and Wondimu for spending a fun evening with us and translating Amharic/English to help us communicate as we become a family (and especially for the fabulous Doro Wot, Peas and Collards Zebib made to stock our freezer.) Thank you to Deb Llewellyn for the many boiled eggs and the mountain of bananas, to Claudia Ender, who invited us over and made us lunch (after having Etsegenet's hair braided and going to the Ethiopian market in Seattle), and to Elise & Marc for bringing us a super yummy New Years' Dinner on very short notice (especially fun because they came to eat it with us!)...and last but not least, Thank you to the children: Nardos (who made two pair of beautiful earrings for Etsegenet & Yeabsira, and a beaded ring for Etsegenet) Netsanet, Hana, Micah, Ryan, Madeline, Lydia and Michael for being who you are and welcoming our kids into your lives so graciously. It is because of you that Etsegenet, Kaleab and Yeabsira truly feel at home-- you've made all the difference in the world.